T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
