Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
