i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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