worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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