Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
