I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
