Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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