dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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