I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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