carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
