are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
