we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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