Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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