You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
