I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
