Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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