He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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