TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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