nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
