the new term for farting is butt boxing.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
