The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
