Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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