He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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