ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
what day is it and did you see me today?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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