is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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