This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
