you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
