the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
