Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
