I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
