I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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