she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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