No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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