break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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