No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
