he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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