and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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