i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You are the jesus of drinking
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize