Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
