omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
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