i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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