So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
