last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
