my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
