I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
