Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
