Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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