did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
