i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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