Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
