those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
