This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
