i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
My pussy is not your playground.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Randomize
