why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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