Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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