Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
