I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Can Purell be used as lube?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If its not for food we ain't going out.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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