He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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