Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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