My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
