glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
