I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
