so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize