No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
