I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
sex in a hospital.. check
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
