At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
