I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
