I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
