Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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